Marriage is a part of the human life. People of any nation must go through certain procedures for their marriage, which have gradually evolved into some fixed customs and been handed down from generation to generation, in writing or by oral tradition. This is also true of the Tibetan people.
Tibet has been primarily inhabited by the Tibetan ethnic group. Here also have lived Moinba and Lhoba ethnic groups for ages. The different peoples have different folkways including marriage customs. Believe it or not, even the Tibetan people living in different areas have quite different marriage customs, due to the discrepancies in geographical environment, natural conditions, religion, cultural background, and habits and customs. In short, the territory distinctions are well reflected in marriage customs of the different areas. Here also live the Han people, Hui people and Mongolian people, etc, which have moved here during different ages. The cultural blending of the different peoples has also made the different marriage customs interact and change little by little. Meanwhile, social progress has also added modern color to the old customs.
The marriage customs of the Khampa people in Tsang-region (a part of Tibetan ethnic living in Xigaze / Shigatse Prefecture) are relatively classic Tibetan ones, which include four necessary steps: namely the matchmaking, bride-fetching, wedding and bride's returning home. At first glance, there is nothing special in them, for any ethnic group will have similar steps. Nevertheless, there are great differences in the specific procedures in each step.
Let's first focus on the matchmaking. If a young man falls in love with a girl, he would not go to the girl's home in person to propose marriage; instead he would do this through a matchmaker. The latter shall present the proposal to the girl's parents, rather than to the girl directly. When visiting the girl's home, the matchmaker will bring buttered tea and highland barley wine, which are essential to the development of the romance. If the girl's parents take the presented tea and wine, that means they have accepted it, or otherwise they have not.
Having gone through the first pass, now the young man can visit the girl's family in person on a selected lucky day, bringing also buttered tea and highland barley wine. Besides, he must present the girl's mother a stipulated gift- an apron, which is known as the 'Milk price'to express gratitude to her for bearing and bringing up her daughter. He may also present the girl's father with some clothing. Then the both sides seriously decide on the date for fetching the bride, which must be a lucky day, such as the 8th, 15th or 30th of the Tibetan calendar month; or a Friday or Saturday but by no means a Sunday. This decision is irrevocable afterwards. For anyone's breaking his promise will lead him to bankrupt his reputation for good.
